Overriding ourselves

Senior leaders often override their own needs until pressure becomes unsustainable, reducing clarity, agency, presence and connection with others.

Overriding ourselves

I’m noticing a pattern in the conversations I’m having with leaders.

How good many of us have become at overriding ourselves. And not just professionally.

We feel unwell, but don’t stop to consider what might bring us back to health.

We’re exhausted, but don’t question our schedule or commitments.

We have a different view of what needs to happen next, but don’t make ourselves heard.

For a while, the impact of this can go largely unnoticed. We disconnect from our own needs and signals so consistently that it simply becomes normal.

We keep going.

We take on more because we can.

We focus on what we ‘should’ do, what’s expected.

And so our breaks disappear.

Rest feels unproductive.

We start to live in a heightened state of alertness, ready for anything.

And because this becomes so habitual, our new baseline, many leaders don’t realise how much pressure they are carrying until something starts to give.

But if we tune in earlier, there is often a lot to notice and more agency than we think.

Our stress and tension affect the people around us more than we realise.

Clear thinking, creativity and perspective become harder to access because part of us is focused primarily on coping and staying safe.

Joy, ease and presence quietly reduce, both at work and at home.

We never switch off.

This is a pattern I know well myself.

For years I pushed through, met expectations and performed at a high level while being deeply disconnected from my own needs on a daily basis.

I’m not suggesting that our needs should always come first. But if we are our main instrument as leaders, perhaps they deserve more conscious attention.

What I see are leaders doing their best to operate effectively within an approach to living and leading that barely considers their needs at all, even with the current focus on wellbeing.

What I’ve realised more recently is that reconnecting with ourselves doesn’t mean losing our drive or becoming less effective at achieving our goals. It’s not about stepping out of senior roles or complex challenges.

If anything, leading from a place of grounding creates the possibility of responding with more clarity, agency and intention.

Before we reach the point where we simply can’t keep overriding ourselves any longer.

Categories: : Leadership development, Leadership systems and relationships, Leadership under pressure, LeadFromWisdom, Self trust and awareness, Sustainable leadership, WiseLeadership