The Stories We Treat as Facts

A few months ago, I became increasingly convinced that I had failed an important qualification.

I had no new facts, but I attached meaning to what was happening around me and in my thinking. As I reflected on it afterwards, I realised this is something that happens in leadership all the time.

I was waiting for the results and receiving various communications along the way. Gradually, I pieced everything together into a story that made complete sense to me.

I had failed.

It was a challenging set of assessments and I hadn’t met all the standards.

Once I believed that story, a number of things followed.

I felt disappointed and my energy dipped.

I started thinking about what I would do next, how I would adapt my plans to incorporate this new learning into my work. More limitations crept in.

I began preparing myself for an outcome that, as far as I was concerned, was decided.

Eventually, I received the result.

I'd passed.

Of course, there was relief and genuine surprise. But the bigger insight came afterwards.

I realised how much energy I had spent responding to something that wasn't true

· the emotions I had carried
· conclusions I had drawn
· my certainty based on incomplete information.

And if you’re thinking, "this wouldn’t have happened to me", take a moment to think about how often you fill in the gaps.

As leaders, we have to do this all the time because information is very rarely complete. We work with

· fragments
· observations
· assumptions
· intuition
· experience
· habitual thinking.

And we create a narrative. Our story for what is happening.

We hear a comment in a meeting.

We notice a delayed response.

We aren’t included in a decision or discussion.

Someone’s behaviour changes.

And without realising it, we start filling in the gaps.

Sometimes we’re right. Sometimes we’re not.

The challenge isn't that we create stories. That's part of being human.

The challenge is remembering that a story and reality are not the same thing.

Take a moment to reflect and I’d love to see your comments.

What story might you be treating as fact right now?

This post is a summary of my short video series last week which you can view on my profile.